I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
