fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
