i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am naked and annoyed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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