woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I came so hard my ears popped.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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