I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
