I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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