Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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