3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
