Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You are the jesus of drinking
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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