3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
