I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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