Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
