It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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