Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i think i have herpe
just one?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
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