I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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