she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
