she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize