Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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