I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you win again, gameday.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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