in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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