mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
why do cheetos always look like penises
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize