the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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