jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
