brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
