is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
