I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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