Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
