Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
