It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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