So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
