Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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