Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
