your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
