perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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