you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
