New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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