He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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