ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm at about main and main street
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
