are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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