I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
