I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I still have a little drunk in my system
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize