i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
