If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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