I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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