Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize