12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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