piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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