Its about making memories worth repressing
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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