you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
