That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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