you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
