What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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