The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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