Already got asked if we're dating
return my video game
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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