And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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