Screwed.edu
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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