I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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