whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
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making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
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I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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