I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
