I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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