How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
