When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize